6 Things I Was Told Not To Do As A New Mom That I Did Anyway / Mainly Marta :: A Motherhood + Lifestyle Blog



What started as a digital diary to document a newfound journey as a stay at home mom / wife has quickly evolved into my own little corner on the internet where I share all that life brings my way -- the good, the bad, and those "aha!" moments. All with a hint of sarcasm, a dash of truth and bold European wit. Thanks for following along!

6 Things I Was Told Not To Do As A New Mom That I Did Anyway

When you first have a baby, it seems like everyone and their mother has some advice for you. Somethings you hear are good, somethings are absurd, and other things seem pointless. If I've learned anything is that when you're given advice, you owe the person a chance to tell you how they think things should be done (out of politeness, of course), but you don't always have to take the advice to heart and follow it (that's the nice part). Here are several things I was told that I threw out the window:

[ 1. ] Don't Co-Sleep. Everyone I talked to (minus a few young moms) told me not to do this. The doctor, my mother, my mother-in-law, all the nurses in the hospital, the pamphlets they gave me to read and the video they made me watch before they let me go home all said not to, but guess what? I did it anyway. I know they they tell you not to do it -- for safety reasons, but let's be honest... It's so much easier to co-sleep especially when the little one wants to feed several times a night. I found that I was much more rested during the day if I co-slept, so against everyone's advice, I did it and was super happy with my choice. From my personal experience, I found that my maternal instinct was a lot stronger than I expected. Every time my man whimpered, I shot up like a mama bear ready to pounce at any sign of danger. There hasn't been a time where I rolled on him or hurt him unconsciously. Instead, it's been snuggles, cuddles, and lost of rest.

[ 2. ] Don't Use A PacifierI was told time and time again that giving him a pacifier would cause "nipple" confusion and that it would get in the way of breastfeeding. Because my milk didn't come in, my son had a really hard time and was constantly crying. In the hospital, they showed my husband that sticking your pinky in the baby's mouth, so he can suck on it is a way of soothing a little one -- I found it absurd that you can use your pinky, but not a pacifier, so when I got home, one of the first things I did was utilize a soothie! I have no regrets about it either. My babe is breastfeeding just fine and loves to chew on his pacifier especially now that his gums are itchy from teething.

[ 3. ] You Shouldn't Be Supplementing With Formula. I think this is the one thing that made me the most upset. My milk didn't come in and while I was staying in the hospital, the nurses wouldn't give me anything to soothe the little guy. I had to stay two days in the hospital because of a bacteria I had during my pregnancy, so during that time, Felix was screaming non-stop because he was hungry and frustrated that he wasn't getting any milk -- it got to the point where he would even refuse to latch because he knew it wasn't going to get him any milk. I was tired and sore, so having a restless starving baby was not helping me in the slightest. The only person who urged me to supplement was my mom and on her slight suggestion I leaped at the opportunity to feed my son! I supplemented up until I had enough milk to satisfy the little man and it was a super smooth process. We went from bottle to breast like champs! Sometimes, I try to give him formula when we're out and I can't nurse and he hates it, so I'd say supplementing at the beginning was just fine.

[ 4. ] Stop Holding The Baby All Day & When He's Sleeping. I found people telling me this to be stressful and annoying. First of all, I am a first time mom and all I wanted to do was snuggle with my little one! I held him all the time primarily because I was exhausted and didn't want to get up to put him in his bassinet if I had to pick him back up again in 30 minutes, but also because I popped out a little human and I couldn't get enough of him. He was the sweetest, most precious baby I had ever laid eyes on him, so if I wanted to hold him, I was going to hold him! The nay-sayers all warned that he'd get used to it and that I was grooming a spoiled baby, but in my eyes, he's a baby and he gets all the snuggles and cuddles he wants!

[ 5. ] You Should Be Swaddling Him -- All The Time. Okay, so I actually wanted to do this, but my son was not having it. I'd swaddle him so many times and before I knew it, somehow, those cute little fingers would come to the surface. I don't know how he did it, but he'd escape the swaddle no matter how tight I wrapped him, so eventually I gave up. I now just loosely swaddle him for warmth, giving his little legs and arms space to move and groove the way they want to.

[ 6. ] Don't Drink Coffee, Eat Onions/Garlic & Spicy Foods When Breastfeeding. This one was a frustrating one because when I was pregnant, I couldn't eat all the food I wanted because of heartburn. So, naturally I was excited to get to eat whatever I wanted when they little one came out. Imagine my shock when I sat at the table and my mother told me I couldn't have some of my favorite things. I was supposed to watch what I ate because some things might make the milk taste bad. I tried to abide by the rules, but ended up caving. Luckily, my little man didn't seem to suffer and I got back to eating all the goodies I had missed during my pregnancy!


 As a new mom, the role is overwhelming and sometimes the helpful advice people dish to you only makes things worse. If I have any advice for you sweet mama, it's that you've made it this far, you know what you're doing, so don't take anything to heart and don't feel pressured to do things you want to do. You've got this! 


Veronica Lee said...

Hi! Stopping by from Mom Bloggers Club. Great blog!
Have a nice day!

Marta said...

Thank you for stopping by! 💕

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