Baby's First Christmas

Baby's First Christmas

• 12.26.2016

Felix's first Christmas was sort of cumbersome. I'm slowly learning that babies don't seem to care about what you've concocted in your imagination. They call the shots. It wasn't this magical day where I got to take a million pictures and where he smiled all day. Instead, it turned out to be a long day where nothing went according to plan. 

We woke up early in the morning and I put on Felix's Christmas onesie -- which he proceeded to pee through within the first five minutes of wearing it. I don't know how he did that because his diaper was completely dry while his clothes were soaked. I had to change him into some reindeer pajamas he's been wearing all month, and I cannot tell you how disappointed I was about it. It sounds ridiculous, but I was soooo excited for him to wear that Christmas onesie. 

Christmas Outfit #2

After our wardrobe malfunction and change, I started to look at news on my Facebook timeline like I do every morning as I nurse my little one.  While browsing, I found out that some teenagers from our church got into a car accident early Christmas morning while caroling. The accident resulted in one death and three injured one of which left a boy in critical condition. Upon further investigation and reading, I realized that I knew 3 of the 5 boys in the car. I woke up my husband, told him the news and we sat in silence for awhile as we thought of those poor kids and their parents. 

As the kids started to wake up excited for present unwrapping, the adults didn't share in their joy. We were all plagued with empathy for the families hurting that morning. Phone calls where being made in effort of finding out how the accident happened and how the boys where doing, but we found out very little. 

My mom made us all pancakes and then we went to the tree to unwrap gifts. The kids were excited and couldn't contain their joy as Felix decided that he wanted to nap through it all, so his gifts stayed under the tree until I gave his uncles (aged 4 and 5) permission unwrap them. 

putting presents under the tree at 11 pm on Christmas Eve

The kids had a great time unwrapping gifts and watching their eyes light up as the opened each gift was the highlight of my day. 

Felix woke up about an hour later, wanting to be fed and then he took another long nap. He literally slept the entire day and that ruined my plans for a first Christmas photo shoot. I wasn't that heartbroken about it since the outfit for those photos was a bust. 

After Christmas lunch, I took Felix to our bedroom, placed him in his bassinet and then took a nap because I was completely exhausted from running around the previous day. We slept for a few hours and woke up around the time the Christmas night service at our church was about to begin. I turned that on as I held and nursed my little one. 

The church service seemed very sad -- the entire community was hurting. It just didn't feel like Christmas. Everyone looked as if they were at a funeral. Sadness emitted from my laptop screen and the joyous message about Jesus' birth was overshadowed by the sting of a life taken to soon. 

While watching the service, my sister came in and announced that my father was running a fever which normally wouldn't concern us, but he had ACL reconstruction surgery the previous Wednesday so the thought of a possible infection was on our minds when we read the thermometer screen -- 102.6 degrees. We called the doctor, gave him medicine and luckily his fever went down.  

It was about 8:30 pm, when my husband and I decided to go visit his aunt's house like we originally planned. I got Felix dressed up and we were out of the house. It was nice to get some fresh air and see  everyone, but the topic of the night was the accident in between a few Christmas carols, snacks, and a fussy baby. 

some of the girls at the family gathering

After spending a few hours with my husband's family, Felix started to get restless, so we went home and crashed right away. This Christmas wasn't what I imagined it would be, nor was it one that I enjoyed. As I write this, I look back at all I had planned to may this a "perfect" Christmas for everyone, and while I do not see myself as superficial or consumed by tradition, I feel as if I may have gotten caught up in things that really didn't matter in the end. Being with family, having them by your side, and being able to tell them what you love them -- that is what matters. 

This Christmas has come and gone and I can honestly say I'm glad that Felix isn't old enough to remember this holiday. 

As we move on towards the new year and as we plunge through the sadness this season brought to our community, I know there is a peace that will guide us into the next year -- his name is Jesus. 

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Here are some Christmas photos from earlier this week